Allow Me to Save You the Trouble: My Books Boiled Down to Their Best Bits

I’ve been so busy recovering from the holidays, working on novels, and teaching English to Chinese children via video, I haven’t had much time to create new content for my blog. It’s kind of like how a lot of you have been so busy doing all the things you do, you haven’t had time to read all of my books. So I figured I’d do us both a favor and create a blog post featuring the best bits from my three novels. This way, I get content to fill this space, and you get some of the greatest lines of neo-noir fiction ever written by anyone named Greg Levin.

Now I know what you’re all thinking: “Greg, that isn’t fair to you—it’s not an even trade, you deserve more!” Folks, please, don’t worry about it. It’s my pleasure to share my work. 

Okay, fine, if you absolutely insist on not taking advantage of me, I guess you could purchase one of my novels. Actually, you couldn’t pick a better time do so—because for the first time EVER, ALL of my novels are available for JUST 99 CENTS! (Kindle version only.)  

Never before have In Wolves’ Clothing, Sick to Death, and The Exit Man each been priced at under a buck at the same time. So why now, you ask? Because never before have I overestimated my net worth by so much or overspent so badly during the holidays—thus, I need to do everything I can to bring in some extra cash without having to endure the pain and inconvenience of getting a better-paying job or making any real sacrifices.   

To help you decide which of my ridiculously low-priced novels you’d like to buy (or gift to a friend), have a look at the rest of this post. Below you’ll find a brief description of each novel, along with what I and three of my five fans believe to be the best lines from each book, as well as praise from renowned writers/reviewers I didn’t even have to bribe.

(Note: Click on any of the red title links above or below to be brought to the Amazon Kindle page for that book. Have I mentioned each book is currently just $0.99!? )

 

IN WOLVES’ CLOTHING

On his best days, Zero Slade is the worst man you can imagine.

After seven years on a team fighting international sex trafficking,

Zero's quite good at schmoozing with pimps, getting handcuffed by cops,

and pretending not to care about the young girls he liberates. But the

dangerous sting operations are starting to take a toll on his

marriage and health. Not to mention his sanity.

 

Some "killer" lines from IN WOLVES' CLOTHING:

• “There’s nothing better than being the bad guy. Long enough to do some good.”

• “I tell him I’ll be back to my old self once we’re getting handcuffed in Phnom Penh.”

• “I can’t remember if I took an oxy during the flight, so I eat two. They pair nicely with the scotch. It’s good to be home.”

• “That’s one of the drawbacks of good narcotics—they often cause you to say cheerful things.”

• “Appear too confident and comfortable, and your cover is blown. You are a perverted coward with no shred of decency, so for God’s sake act like it.” 

• “To get into character, think about the biggest douchebag frat guy you’ve ever met, imagine him with several million dollars, multiply his money and demeanor by ten, and then act like that guy. Right up until the cops remove your handcuffs and thank you.” 

• “Before I joined Operation Emancipation, I was just like the dozens of people fuming at Gate A-11 right now. Flight delays would ruin my day. Now? Now I can smile and whistle while walking through a pediatric cancer ward.” 

• “Whenever out with others, I can do pleasant. I can do content. I’m even able to muster empathy and interest on occasion. It’s not as easy as doing conniving, creepy, sleazy and sinister, but sometimes you just have to leave work at the office.” 

• “Barrett and Malik just arrived. A former Navy Seal and recovering coke addict, and a former Secret Service agent who got fired for punching a senator in the throat. Finally, some people I can relate to.” 

• “Maybe Caleb really is the bright and shining star Fynn has described. Maybe he’s self-actualized and stable and moral. Maybe he’s undamaged goods. If so, he’ll never fit in.” 

• “Human trafficking has a tremendous future. Even brighter than drug trafficking. It’s why many big-time dealers are diversifying—dipping their toes into the sex trade.” 

• “The reaction I’m looking out for is anger, which is the natural reaction and thus unacceptable. I’m also looking out for sadness, especially tears. Tears are completely normal. This job is not.” 

• “It’s more serious than I suspected. Caleb isn’t an alcoholic or a drug addict or suffering from PTSD. He isn’t depressed or bipolar or a masochist. He’s a Buddhist. I can overlook a lot of shit in a Jump Team member, but total enlightenment is where I have to draw the line.” 

• “And here I am, toasting a silver and sapphire blue ceramic container, trusting that the Eden Funeral Home got things right. That there were no mix-ups in the crematorium. I don’t like drinking with strangers.” 

 

Praise for IN WOLVES' CLOTHING

“Levin movingly conveys the horrors of child sex trafficking in this effective thriller. He provides a window into one of the world's darkest underbellies, while somehow managing to insert appropriate lighter moments. This author deserves a wide audience.” —Publishers Weekly

“A riveting, fast-paced thriller. In Wolves' Clothing is an immensely satisfying read by an author with a genuine flair for originality and narrative-driven action. Unabashedly recommended.” —Midwest Book Review

“I highly recommend In Wolves' Clothing to those who love dark crime fiction and thrillers, as well as edgy literary and transgressive fiction— especially Chuck Palahniuk fans.” Lauren Sapala, author of Between the Shadow and Lo and The INFJ Writer

“Truly original and enthralling. Levin's blazing prose and acerbic wit capture the madness and the humanity of working undercover in the darkest corners.” —Radd Berrett, former Jump Team member, Operation Underground Railroad

“A sharp novel, both in action and in style, with fabulous dialogue and a flawed hero you'll love.” —Olga Núñez Miret, Rosie's Book Review Team

“There’s no escaping the adrenaline-packed punch of emotions that conclude with a thrilling ending. An unforgettable novel.” —Paul Falk, NetGalley reviewer

 

SICK TO DEATH

Knowing you’re dying can be murder.

When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable cancer,

things really start to look up for him. He leaves his

soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group,

 and takes up an exciting new hobby: serial killing.

 

Some "killer" lines from SICK TO DEATH:

• “Over the previous six months, there was only one thing Gage had become more efficient at than killing… and that was dying.”

• “Gage had never cared much for dark comic books. He was simply becoming the main character in one.” 

• “He never praised me whenever I’d hit a home run in little league, but I kill a few people and all of the sudden I’m his idol.”

• “That’s the problem. They potentially have decades and decades ahead of them. A long and bright future. Too much life is getting in the way.” 

• “It was like picking teams for kickball at recess, only there were three team captains instead of two doing the picking. And getting picked meant you’d soon be dead.” 

• “Dying was the least of Gage’s problems.” 

• “Prison? You’re worried about prison? You’re already on death row, my friend.” 

• “It’s best to discuss mass murder behind closed doors, and Jenna lived the closest.” 

• “Learning he might not be dying really threw a wrench into Gage’s plans. He didn’t see how he could go on killing if there was a chance he’d go on living.” 

• “The problem with celebrating a birthday in a hospice center is all the oxygen.” 

• “Sitting in a hospice room staring at three uncommon zombies, the sickly triplets behind the most popular murder spree of the century.”

• “That’s one way to lose your religion. Watching your deity vomit next to some road kill.” 

• "We’d be dead. Big deal. Death’s not such a long drop these days. Not for us."

 

Praise for SICK TO DEATH

“A tour de force dark comedy.” —Craig Clevenger, author of cult classics The Contortionist's Handbook and Dermaphoria

“A satirical thriller that says serious things as well as telling a stonking story. It'll appeal to readers who enjoy Dexter's adventures. For me, it ranks alongside Josh Bazell's Beat The Reaper.”—Rowena Hoseason of Murder, Mayhem & More

“Uniquely entertaining and captivating. Levin's prose is playful yet ominous, and the negotiation of this unique spectrum produces some truly great dialog and passages. He takes this story in bold directions that keep the pages turning. Definitely worth checking out!” —Bryce Allen, author of The Spartak Trigger and Idol Threat

“Darkly funny, with literary undertones. Look past the sharp wit and clever turns of phrase to find a novel that speaks to man's purpose in life, escalated by his impending death. When the third act begins to spin out of control, the author clinches it with a clever twist that leaves a very satisfying ending. I'd highly recommend this book to anyone ... except maybe the terminally ill.” —Scott Kelly, author of [sic] and the Keep the Ghost Trilogy

“Greg Levin has done it again with Sick to Death. As in his previous books, Levin weaves dark humor and a human touch into every chapter of this transgressive tale. Highly recommended.” —J.R. Hardenburgh, hard-to-please reader

 

THE EXIT MAN

Suicide should come with a warning label: “Do not try this alone.”

Eli Edelmann never intended on taking over his father's party supply store.

Nor did he ever intend on making a living through mercy killing.

But life doesn't always go according to plan.

 

Some "killer" lines from THE EXIT MAN:

• “I wasn't some monster looking to feast on the weaknesses of salvageable souls. I saw myself as a noble purveyor, a humanist catering to the completely vanquished.”

• “I was an equal opportunity executioner.”

• “After a year or so of helping people die, I was really starting to reach my full potential.”

• “The weekend had been interesting and eventful, but it was time for me to return to my normal life of selling party supplies and lining up suicides.”

• “It’s hard enough meeting someone you find beguiling enough to want their contact information. Start nitpicking about a few past indiscretions or a police record and you’ll end up dying sad and alone.”

• “A team was forming. And what a pair we were. Collectively we represented multiple consecutive life sentences—me for my illicit side job; her for a single mistake.”

• “You get used to offering condolences and shaking hands with family members of the person you helped put in the casket or urn before you.”

• “It wasn’t enough sneaking around helping sick people disguise their suicide as natural death. I needed some excitement in my life.”

• “She had become an integral part of my life—just not the part with all the death.”

• “There’s nothing quite like a perfectly executed suicide to get you feeling right again.”

 

Praise for THE EXIT MAN

“The sharpest, funniest voice in U.S. literature since Carl Hiaasen. Greg Levin's second novel is a corker.” —If These Books Could Talk

“Imagination-capturing and fresh. I highly recommend reading The Exit Man, but strongly advise: Do not try this at home!” —TNT Reviews

"The Exit Man is black humor at its best. If you like dark humor, buy it now." —D.E. Haggerty, author of Life Discarded and Buried Appearances

“A surprisingly delightful and exciting read. Levin’s deft wrangling of the language lifts the subject matter from macabre to entertaining, from WTF to LOL, from “you’ve got to be kidding me” to “I’m sticking around for the ride.” —Michael Smart, author of the Dead Reckoning, Deadeye, and Deadlight

“Smart dark humor wrapped in an inventive story. Levin handles the topic of assisted suicide with respect while busting conventional thinking with clever humor and quirky characterization. A unique, inventive, and well-written novel.” —Lisa Haneberg, author of the Spy Shop Mysteries   

 

Thank you very much for stopping by. I’m truly humbled by you letting me show you how amazing my books are. Don’t forget to take advantage of the very limited time offer—just 99 cents for each of my three novels!  Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.

DO IT! 

(For those of you in the UK, you can take advantage of the book sale by clicking here.)

Oh, and tune in next time, when I (expect to) share some exciting news about my upcoming novel, INTO A CORNER.